Where do I start?
You're already have! From the moment they're born, children begin learning about relationships, gender roles and sexuality. As their main teacher, you share a lot, but they also learn from TV, the internet, games, and other people such as friends and family.
By talking with your kids and using resources like this book, you can help them learn the facts and grow healthily. It's also excellent to show what caring relationships look like and use everyday moments to teach important lessons. For example, if you see a pregnant person, you can talk about how babies are made. No matter your child's age, it's never too early to talk about these topics. Your words and actions can show them that this is an important topic and you're there to discuss it with them. Talking about these things from a young age helps everyone feel more comfortable and informed.
Answering questions
Kids sometimes ask many questions about how people relate to each other and their feelings, or they may not ask any. When they do, here's how to answer:
- Brief: Use easy words and keep it short. If they want to know more, they will ask more questions.
- Factual: Tell the truth in a kind way.
- Positive: Don't judge, just explain. You can use a little humour if appropriate. What if your child doesn't talk or ask questions? Then, using books like this and finding moments in everyday life to discuss these important topics is crucial. Being a parent or carer who is easy to talk to makes your child feel safe. This helps them to not be afraid to ask you about anything that is on their mind.
Naming private body parts
It's important for children to know the correct names and what their private body parts do. Knowing the correct language helps them tell someone if they're touched in a way that worries or hurts them, or is against the rules/law. They also learn what each part is for, which is just as normal as knowing about their arms or legs. This makes them feel okay about their bodies and teaches them it’s normal to talk about every part without feeling weird or ashamed. Just like we talk about a nose or an elbow (using correct names), we should talk about private parts too. This helps kids feel good about their whole body. If we don't talk about these parts, it might make them feel embarrassed or keep secrets, which isn't healthy or safe.
Activity: naming private body parts
Activity instructions: public and private
- Start by defining a private place: ‘A private place is a shut door place where you can be alone. It’s a place where people can take their clothes off, and look at and touch their private parts if they want to’. Then define a public place: ‘A public place is an open door place where people can come and go. People wear their clothes in a public place, and don’t look at or touch their private parts.
- Start by defining a private behaviour: ‘Behaviours are things that we do, like walking or picking our nose. Private behaviours are things we have to do in private places. Like touch our private parts or have a shower.’ Then define a public behaviour: ‘Public behaviours are things that it’s ok to do in public places. Like hug a family member or eat our lunch.’ As with public/private places, use images to discuss different behaviours. Talk about what might happen if you do a private behaviour in a public place e.g., upset a friend, frighten someone, break the law, embarrass yourself.
- Complete the drag and drop ‘Public and Private’ activity by clicking the button below. Ask prompt questions such as; ‘What’s happening in the picture?’, ‘Can you see their private parts?’, ’Is the door closed?’, ‘Should they be by themselves?’, ‘How might someone feel if they saw a person doing this?’, ‘Who is a safe person to talk to if you saw a person do this in a public place?’
Activity: public and private
Feelings
This is a game where you'll see different faces showing different feelings. You'll need to choose what feeling each face is showing. This helps you understand your feelings better and what to do when you feel them.
Activity: feelings
When the body has a NO feeling
Sometimes, your body warns you when something is not right. You might feel scared, your heart might race, or you might want to cry. These signs are your body's way of saying something is wrong. If you feel like this, tell an adult you trust. It’s okay to ask for help when you’re not feeling safe. To explore how bodies respond to fear you can use examples like: ‘What would your body do if you were going for a walk, and you saw a snake.’ or ‘What would your body feel like if someone yelled at you?’ The following activity will help to identify the warning signs our bodies might have when we are faced with unsafe situations.
Activity: When the body has a NO feeling
Types of touch
Knowing different kinds of touch is important:
- Friendly: Like a high-five or a hug from someone you like.
- Helping: When a doctor examines you or a parent helps a young child brush their teeth.
- Sexy: This type of touch is just for adults. It might be a long sexy kiss or touching private body parts with hands, or other body parts. This can only be done in a private place, and only if the other adult agrees.
- “NO” touch: Touches that make you feel uncomfortable or scared or touches that break the rules such as hitting, pushing or touching your private parts if you are under 16 years old.
It is important that we also learn what type of touch is ok in which relationships. E.g. touch with a teacher, a support worker or touch between family or touch with a partner. The following activity helps to match which types of touch might be ok in which relationships.
Activity: Types of touch
Safety networks
Your safety network is a group of adults who you can talk to if you're feeling unsafe and who will help. This could be family members, teachers, or a support worker. They are there to help you feel secure and take action if something is wrong. It’s a good idea to know who you can go to for help. This person should listen to you, believe you and help you to be safe.
Activity instructions: safety network
This activity lets you create a 'safety hand,' where each finger represents a person in your safety network. You can fill in the names of people who make you feel safe, like a family member or a teacher. Then, you can print and hang this hand up where it will be seen - as a reminder of who to talk to if you need help.
*Note to parents/carers: It might be useful to contact the safety network to let them know they are one of your child’s safe people or help your child write their safe person a letter. For example: Dear ______ I have chosen you to be in my safety network of trusted adults. That means that if I ever experience an unsafe situation, I can come and talk to you. If that happens, I want you to listen to me, believe me, and help me. Thank you. From ____ ‘
Activity: safety network
NO, GO, TELL safety plan
This plan teaches you what to do if you feel unsafe:
- NO: Say it loudly.
- GO: Go/run away from the situation.
- TELL: Tell a trusted adult what happened. Practicing this can help you protect yourself.
*Note to parents/carers: Children may not be able to leave a situation E.g. they are not physically able to, or their ‘freeze’ response to danger takes over. Emphasize the TELL part of the safety plan and assure children it is/was not their fault if they were/are unable to speak up, or leave.
Activity instruction: NO, GO, TELL Safety Plan
- Tell your child the body safety rules. These rules are that it is NOT OK:
- for anyone to touch your body if you do not want them to
- for someone to make you touch their body
- for someone in your family to touch you in a sexy way
- for adults to touch you in a sexy way
- for people to be sexy in front of you (including online)
- for someone to show you or ask you for pictures of private body parts or people being sexy (including online)
- Tell your child that if any of the body safety rules are broken, they should use the NO, GO, TELL safety plan
- Role play the NO, GO, TELL safety plan.
Repeat the role play a number of times.
Puberty
Puberty is when the body starts changing as a child grows up. This can start anytime between 8-16 years old and will happen at the time that is right for you. You’ll grow taller, and your body will start to change from a child’s body into an adult’s body. It’s a normal part of growing older, and knowing what to expect can make it less confusing. Puberty also changes the way we think, act and feel.
Puberty factsheet for parents/carers:
https://www.true.org.au/resources/shop#!/Puberty-for-parents/p/57318723/category=18053021
Activity instructions: Puberty changes
- Start by defining puberty. ‘Puberty is the time between being a child and an adult. It includes all the changes that help us look and feel like adults. Puberty happens slowly so we have time to get used to it. We do not wake up one day as an adult. It usually happens for most people between the ages of 8 and 16.’
- Ask your child what the best things about getting older are.
- Show your child the bodies in drag and drop activity. Ask them which bodies look like they are going through puberty and why.
- Ask your child questions that encourage them to identify the differences in the different bodies e.g., ‘Which one looks the youngest?’, ’Which one looks the oldest?’, ‘Which one looks old enough to have babies if they choose?’
- Support your child to put the bodies in order from youngest to oldest. During the activity, ask questions such as ‘Where is hair growing?’, ‘Has the female’s chest changed?’, ‘Do they get taller?’. Finish the activity by asking them who they can talk to about puberty.
Activity: Puberty
Healthy puberty
During puberty, learning how to take care of your changing body is important. This means bathing regularly, eating healthy, and managing new feelings. Understanding these changes can help you feel more comfortable with yourself.
Activity instructions: Puberty bag
- Start by discussing healthy puberty. Puberty is a time when bodies change from a child’s body into an adults body. During these changes we can keep our bodies healthy, clean and supported. The puberty bag has items in it that people might use during (and after) puberty changes happen to their body.
- Click on the bag and a typically used puberty item will be released from the bag.
- Discuss: What is the item? What is it for? Why would someone use this item during puberty? What is the best way to use it? How often would somebody need to use this? Etc.
Activity: Puberty bag
Healthy puberty
Tick the right box for each question.
Please feel free to contact True for more information.
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